Santa Hats

Yesterday I made the long drive home from Florida to Tennessee. It was way too long of a drive ending way too short of a trip. I had a wonderful time with my family and the week flew by. Outside of Lake city I spotted an older couple driving along in a SUV both wearing Santa hats and ridiculous grins. It was 2 days after Christmas and there appeared to be no one else in the vehicle. It was weird, but as I thought about it some more (as there was plenty of time to think in my 9 hour drive) I remembered an old poem I had written and it seemed appropriate:

I pitied a homeless man yesterday
It was cold and rainy

He was walking, dirty and downtrodden
Holding a paper coffee cup
Poor and "unsuccessful"
But not alone

He walked with a woman
Equally dirty, equally downtrodden
Facing the cold rain
Together

Warm by the fire in a trendy coffee house
I sipped my caramel macchiato
Affluent and "successful"
Alone

I envied a homeless man yesterday

Christmas Eve

When I was little Christmas Eve used to be one of the most exciting days of the year. My brothers and I would lie on our stomachs in front of the Christmas tree and decide which dream gift each brightly wrapped box held and what order we would open them in on Christmas morning. As the night drew near we would begin negotiations on when we could get out of bed on Christmas morning. For some ungodly reason I remember wanting to get up around 5 but Mom and Dad didn't usually let us get up earlier than 7. Around 6:45 my brother's and I would get out of bed and open our bedroom doors in anticipation of 7am. Sometimes Tyler and Kevin would sneak to the edge of the stairs. When the clock hit the exact designated time we burst over the threshold of the hallway and run into the living room where the tree and our unwrapped gifts from Santa awaited. Mom and Dad always took entirely too long to get ready, at least from an excited child's point of view, and then they tortured us by making us listen to the Christmas story and pray before we could open our gifts. For some reason I remember the story being like an hour long even though my father would only read the second chapter of Luke. My brother Kevin is big on tradition and announced to us just this week that the bible that we have been reading the Christmas story out of for as long as I can remember just had its 20th birthday. Dad asked why he didn't let us know sooner, we would have baked a cake. I think sarcasm is also a Christmas tradition in my house.

Today my "baby" brother is 23 years old and Christmas isn't quite the same event. Our presents this year are wrapped and placed under an antique desk in our living room instead of a Christmas tree and I have yet to dig through the pile yet to identify which presents are mine. We will try to get our parents to sleep until 10, although we will probably lose this negotiation and drag ourselves out of bed around 8. I'll want a cup of coffee before I touch one gift and the Christmas story will pass quickly. However, Christmas is still special for me because it is a time to relax and enjoy my family. While my perception of Christmas has changed dramatically it is still of my favorite times of year. I am thankful that I have such fond memories of Christmas and that there were always gifts under the tree and a special breakfast to enjoy. It is a time to be thankful for our family and friends and for the gift that ultimately inspired this whole season. It is also a time to remember those who aren't as fortunate as ourselves. I've had a good life and a good year and I truely hope that daily I give more than I get. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope it's everything you dreamed it would be. (no sarcasm intended :))

Retraction

As if Kanye himself was presenting me with an argument on why not to like him, he was on SNL this past Saturday and was absolutely AWFUL. I was wishing he had pulled an Ashley Simpson and lip synced it the whole time. I watched it embarrassed for him and for me who apparently published a blog professing my love at a very bad time. Luckily I'm not too fickle...I don't think.

I need to blog

It's been entirely too long since I wrote my last blog. For someone who always has something to say I've been pretty quiet. To be perfectly honest I've been completely overwhelmed. About 4 blogs ago I proudly announced that I was about to be footloose and fancy free since my classes were over. If only that were the case! It seems like I haven't stopped running since classes ended.

I'm trying to transfer my MBA program to UTC in the fall and that has created a whole new list of tasks including financial aid, getting old syllabi (is that the proper plural of syllabus?) buying books and registering. My FSU classes were good and I learned a lot, including the fact that I hate online classes. I'm looking forward to having an actual teacher and actual classmates with whom I can compare notes and grades and possibly complaints about the real live teacher I'm so excited about. Of course in a month I may be writing a blog entitled, I hate commuting to Chattanooga, but I think I can handle 2 nights a week. I'm also looking forward to having a chance to catch up with my Chattanooga friends since now I never leave Cleveland on a week night.

This is the first season I've truly experience holiday stress. I have enjoyed my Christmas season so far but I don't know that I've had less than 10 things on my to do list at any given moment.

I watched a lot of the Auto makers hearings and couldn't figure out how a President (or President elect) who doesn't believe in trickle down economics (as evidenced by an emphasis on tax cuts for the middle and lower class and an increase in capital gains tax) would also support a bail-out for the Auto Makers who are quite obviously at the top of the economy. If this money won't trickle down then what the heck are we doing? In the interest of remaining "fair and balanced" I also don't understand conservatives who continuously threw around "socialist" like a dirty word during the election supported this bailout. Giving a failing company millions of dollars of tax payer money definitely isn't capitalism. I understand that something needed to be done but I just wish people who so passionately take sides would at least stick to the sides they choose.

I finished my Christmas shopping. I'm not going to lie, I think I did really well at least as far as my immediate family is concerned. I'm excited. I'll definitely take some pictures and share my success (or failure) with you come Christmas morning.

A couple of weeks ago I was so embarrassingly excited to get a new phone (The Blackberry Storm which I have fallen in love with). I went over to the COG headquarters to pick it up (I'm on a corporate plan so I had to pick it up there) and as I'm floating out of the office with my prized possession in hand a lady runs up to me and asks me if I drive a grey Jetta. I hesitantly answered yes as she proceeded to apologize. I had to laugh...I think she thought I was weirdly calm about the fact that she backed into my car and dented my wheel well. I just couldn't get over the perfect timing of it all. I was more annoyed that I had something to add to my to do list than anything else...

Are my blogs too long?..I probably could have divided this into a weeks worth and not have to worry about being a consistent blogger anymore.

My first tree

This is the first year I actually put up and decorated my own Christmas tree. Granted it is only 4 feet tall but its the perfect size for my living room. One of the ladies at work gave me a nice full sized tree but I barely had enough ornaments for this one so I decided to shop for ornaments at the 75% off sales after Christmas and graduate to a full sized tree next year. I'm taking baby steps to being a full fledged grown-up.

Mr.West

I’m moderately self aware and I realize that a stranger who saw me walking down the street would probably not peg me for a hip-hop connoisseur. However, anyone who knows me well knows that I love Kanye West. I remember watching the video for Through the Wire in my college apartment on Centenary and marveling at this producer turned rapper who wore argyle sweater vests and rapped his first single with his jaw wired shut. He had me from “I drink a boost for breakfast, an Ensure for dizert, someone order pancakes I just sip the sizirp, that right there could drive a sane man bizirq.” My affection grew with All Falls Down, a song with another personal favorite Lauren Hill, where he laments materialism and “the things we buy to cover up what’s inside.” I remember quickly adding Jesus Walks to my work out list, singing along to Gold Digger at Fox and the Hound and playing Stronger until it became my highest ranked song on i-tunes. I can’t think of a better summer jam than Good Life or a song that makes me happier than Touch the Sky. I know by writing this, I am opening myself up to ridicule from many of my “music-snob” friends, but whether you are a fan or not, Kanye’s contribution to music and subsequently popular culture is hard to ignore.

Contrary to the testimonies of most rappers, Kanye didn’t grow up hustling on the streets. His mother was a college professor and he grew up in a middle class home. His out of the ordinary background inspires out of the ordinary lyrics that are both thoughtful and clever. In addition to his refreshingly different point of view, Kanye’s tracks boast skillful production and creative sampling. He makes songs one can’t help but love. He never sounds caned (though he does use quite a bit of auto-tune) and every song is uniquely creative. His new album is quite a change from previous releases but it has the same innovative beats, introspective lyrics and emotional delivery.

Before the abuse begins, let me point out that years of openly appreciating Kanye have resulted in almost every argument of why I should not and I think I’ve got an answer for all of them. The most popular response to my admiration is a reminder of one of his plethora of famous one liners including “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people” and “I want to be Elvis.” Is he a PR nightmare or a PR genius? Love him or hate him you know who he is. Not to mention the fact that I find his unpredictable appearances and tantrums at award show entertaining. Isn’t all press good press?

My least favorite argument is “How can you like him? He is so arrogant.” Of course he is arrogant. The guy blows off 60 radio stations in one morning and refuses to play in his assigned slot at Bonnoroo and still releases every album at number one. I’d be a bit arrogant too. I was pretty proud of myself this last week when I successfully set up a conference call with not three but FOUR people (please hold your applause until the end). I have no intentions of turning this into a political debate but this argument makes about as much sense as the “Obama is an elitist” argument. If he didn’t think he was better than everyone he wouldn’t be running for President and frankly if he wasn’t better than most people I wouldn’t want him running. To play on the level of a Kanye West or a Jay Z or a Cold Play (for those of you who won’t get this blog if I don’t mention a rock band) you literally have to be the best in the WHOLE WORLD. I think at least a small dose of arrogance comes with that title. Kanye is simply one of the few artists who refuse to jump through hoops to appear selfless and humble. Most humble guys don’t wear leather pants (That’s right, I’m talking to you Bono). I’m not saying his behavior isn’t annoying or that I could stand to hang out with him on a regular basis but I will continue to rock Kayne at every possible occasion. My love will go on, Heartless is quickly on its way to my new #1.

Mindless

I'M FINISHED!!

Today's exam was really hard and I hope I did ok. While I'm a bit anxious about the results I am relieved that my online classes are over. I expected this huge release when I walked out of the testing center but that didn't really happen. I think I'm so used to having assignments and readings hanging over my head that it didn't really hit me that I'm free. However, the more I envision all of the mindlessly enjoyable activities that await, the more excited I get. If nothing else, all the months of hard work have made me appreciate simple things like getting off work and doing absolutely nothing, lighting a Woodwick candle and reading books that have been sitting on my bed stand forever (Three cups of tea and Wicked). I'm dreaming of guilt-free weeknight dinners with friends and finally watching step brothers. While this list may not seem like much to many of my dear readers, to someone who has been pouring over Managerial accounting books and calculating returns on stocks for the past 6 months, it sounds like heaven to me!

I'm about to be the happiest girl on earth

Hello all! I just wanted to announce to everyone that tomorrow at about 10:30 am I will be finished my last final of the semester and will be officially done with online classes (at least for the time being). This has been a challenging semester for me and I can't even begin to describe to you how big of a weight will be lifted once this exam is over. Get ready for a whole new Jenn! Or if you have known me a while...Good Old Jenn will return. I also have 2 weeks off work at Christmas to look forward too! I am desperate need of some friend time so "holla!"

Undeveloped thoughts

I just returned from my quick 2 day trip to Florida for Thanksgiving and now I'm consumed with Investments and Financial reporting as I have to take both of these exams by Friday. So in the interest of keeping my blog up to date here are some things that have been on my mind but haven't really developed into full blogs yet.

• Why do they always play episodes of Law and Order SVU and CSI right before I go to bed? I always head to my bedroom, alone, with visions of one hundred brand new ways for a potential murderer to sneak into my house with the intentions of torturing and killing me. I had no idea how many psychopaths have axes to grind with the local CSI investigator. I guess the real question is why can't I just turn the TV off and maybe do some homework...
• While I stayed in a hotel this week, I caught up on the entire season of "I want to be Paris' new best friend." This show is best described as a glorious train wreck. I am fascinated that there are not only people who would put there selves through this sort of thing to be best friends with a celebrity that they know nothing about but also that I am so fascinated. Why can't I look away from this freak show? What does this show tell us about popular culture? I was switching back and forth between this marathon and coverage of the terrorist situation in India. I think that should also inspire some kind of deep commentary on our celebrity obsessed culture and America's self-centerdness (including my own) but I'm not feeling so inspired...
• During busy school times I spend a lot of time at Panera. The Panera in Cleveland has a chipper blond girl whose peppiness used to drive me crazy. I was sure it was fake. However, after weeks of continuous observation, I have come to the conclusion that she genuinely enjoys her job and really is generally this happy to serve the people she encounters every day. I somewhat envy this girl and wish that some of her peppiness would rub off on me.
• When did the Friday after Thanksgiving become Black Friday? I was one of the millions of people who braved the mall on Friday and had a girl at the Limited ask me if I was having a good Black Friday. I wasn't sure how to respond. I don't remember this title being used so generously in years past...
• Florida State's online portal that I use for EVERYTHING school related has been down all day. This is a real problem considering I have 2 exams this week, set aside this entire day to study and can't get access to any of the study materials I need to accomplish this task. I am more than a little frustrated.

Whimsical Wisdom and a Stock Tip. What a deal!

I've haven't written in a while. This is an obvious statement if you are one of my six faithful followers who lay awake at night hoping that tomorrow may bring another morsel of whimsical wisdom from the all too often ignored Sound and the Fury (please insert a heaping dose of sarcasm here).

My "free time" (please understand that this term is being used quite liberally) this week has been consumed writing a final paper for my investments class on Coach. As per usual, I left the paper to the last possible minute and ended up hating myself and any sort of writing by yesterday when it was due. It was not my best work due to the fact that apparently I've developed a case of senioritis, even though I have at least a year if not two before I finish my MBA.

I originally picked Coach because I've never been a fan of their purses and I think they have over saturated the market. As a retailer of trendy fashion accessories, the kiss of death has to be the fact that thousands of 13 year old girls are proudly sporting their outlet purchased bags to middle schools and youth groups all over the country. However, after some analysis I discovered that not only are their financial reports and business plan excellent but their unique market position as an "accessible luxury" has caused them to become more successful than any of their counterparts in the $100 plus handbag arena.

I don't know why I chose to share this but I found it fascinating. They perfectly priced their product within reach of most Middle class consumers but not low as to not be valued or coveted. Maybe I'm becoming a business geek after all but whoever thought of this was genius. So for those of you looking to buy some stock with long term growth potential, look at Coach. As I type it is only $13.80 per share and some analysts predict it could increase to $80.00 by 2011. I have some J.Alexanders stock I could trade in...

I always begin blogs thinking I have nothing to say and then end them after 3 paragraphs realizing I didn't say what I wanted to, but surely after 3 paragraphs no one is still reading anyway. :)

(I have recently found myself addicted to smiley faces...seriously is there a support group? Maybe it could also include people who excessively type LOL. I am more than somewhat skeptical that everyone is laughing out loud as much as they claim. )

I love fall

Moving to Tennessee from Florida was quite an adjustment for me. One of the things that made me love living in Cleveland is how beautiful it is this time of year. Here is an obligatory fall picture to be enjoyed by those of you in the big city who may not be so lucky to drive to work and see this.

The Mayor: Another long blog

My Dad’s birthday was last week and for fear of giving the appearance of playing favorites I want to dedicate this blog to the man who I’ve known as Lance, Uncle Hootie, China Pete and most recently The Mayor. As a child, Dad always spent time with me. Once he called me from my room where I was in bed for the night to change the channel because the remote was broken. There was also the time he made me touch my tongue to my nose in front of a bunch of dinner guests, which was an agonizing experience for such a shy girl. I remember Dad crank calling me when I went to sleepovers and how on long car rides he would say “body parts” over and over because I would, as he put it, “laugh at anything,” and I always did.

Dad taught my Sunday School class for as long as I can rememberand subsequently was the one who taught me most everything I know about the bible. Even now, whenever I come up with some new idea, I always run it by my father. While we don't always (or usually) agree the dialogue helps me sort out my thoughts. One of my most special memories is when I started going on missions trips my father would always sneak a hand written letter into my luggage for me to find when I made it wherever it was that I was going. The letters would say that he and Mom were proud of me and that they would pray for me when I was gone. He would always tell me he could see the hand of God on my life and how he couldn’t wait to see how God would use me. I always looked forward to getting those letters, even though they made me cry every single time.


When I was in high school, My Dad was laid off from work. He worked any job he could to make ends meet for my family even though some of the jobs had horrible hours or weren’t the most dignified of positions. He made many sacrifices to provide for me and my brothers to have the best of everything and he still does that today. I don’t know if I ever told him how much I appreciated what he did for us, but it set a profound example for me and my brothers. A few years ago Dad quit his career to help teach the high school students at my Mother’s school. I like to watch my Dad in his class because he is more than a teacher but also a mentor to many young boys and girls who don’t have a positive role model in their lives.

My Dad continues to be supportive of me and my goals. This summer, he even traveled with me to Cambodia. I was so honored that he cared enough about what I do to give up 3 weeks to travel with me and see it for himself. China Pete bonded with the kids and teenagers he met and let me lead even when he didn’t always agree with my decisions. I consider myself lucky to have such wonderful parents and I know that without their influence I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

An Impassioned Plea

It is time for an intervention. Let me drop a truth bomb on you, the High Five is completely lame and unoriginal. I don’t say this to hurt or offend but because I think we can be better. Let’s not settle for the celebratory gestures of a generation gone by. As a generation who embraces change and individuality, we should strive to find new less dumb looking ways to commemorate our victories.

I’ve wanted to say this for quite some time but I was afraid. I was afraid to buck the status quo, afraid to question the way things have always been done. However, the historic events of this past week have taught me that we can dream of a brighter future and a better tomorrow whose dawn will not be celebrated with a ridiculously outdated hand gesture. Yes we can.

Why do I think it’s time to embrace change? I have always reviled the high five. I hate that I am expected to slap any hand that is randomly thrown in the air even if I don’t feel moved to rejoice. I don't understand how the slapping of hands in the air constitutes some sort of celebration, and frankly I think they look dumb. I find it perplexing that not returning a high five comes off as the ultimate insult when I am the one who should be insulted. Why should I be forced to meet your hand in the air just because you decide to elevate it? Our friendship should not be determined by your ability to control me. I am a free thinking individual who frankly doesn’t like being forced to do something I don’t want to for the sake of “common courtesy.”

We are in a new era. We have embraced change and set ourselves apart as a generation who champions individuality and freedom. We are encouraged to live the life we have imagined and to chase our dreams at all costs. I dream of a future without high fives. I believe we can make this dream come true. Don’t tell me change can’t happen. Yes we can change! Yes we can!

Fair and Balanced

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

I'm fair and balanced.

Government Cheese

At 9:00 a.m. I received the following email from my father:

Did you make it in to work today? I wasn't sure if you were out all night getting drunk on changity change or if you were already getting into line for your free government cheese. Have a great day.

Love Dad

I was going to blog my reflections on the election but for this morning my father's poignant and profound commentary should suffice.

There's got to be sanity around here somewhere

It’s been about a week since I last wrote a blog. One of the reasons I was hesitant to even start a blog was that if I wasn’t consistent then my blogspot would be yet another testament to my lack of commitment and faithful resolve, a published record of my messy and inconsistent life that never ends up like I had planned. But here I am…I guess it’s time to catch up.

It's not that my week was uneventful, it was actually quite the opposite. However, this last week have left me feeling a little uneasy and quite unsettled. I've sat down to write 100 times but my thoughts seem disconnected and messy. I'm questioning truth and fate, my story and the role of faith. To be perfectly transparent, its been overwhelming.

I've been listening to a lot of Ray LaMontagne and Martin Sexton. Music has always been therapeutic for me and listening to either of these artist's thoughtful lyrics and rich tones has been a saving grace. I must have listened to Faith on the Table 100 times today. This isn't my favorite version of this song (there is one on myspace that is incredible) but the lyrics describe so perfectly where I am. I'm sure there is sanity here somewhere, I've just got to find it.




When you're down and feeling left out
Wondering what this pain is about
Here's something mother taught me When I was a child
It's passed down from an old generation
To let us all in on the new revelation
See the light and comfort will be on the way

it's on the way

Just take a little faith off the table
And get a little hope out of the jar
There’s got to be sanity around here somewhere
and let’s shake it up.

I want this job

Where do you apply for this job? I'm not much of a dancer and I don't really like my picture taken but I think I'd persevere to do this. I mean imagine all the stamps he has in his passport?!

Actually...being the camera man for this project would be my dream job....anyone want to be the dancer?

I want out of the country so bad it hurts...Thanks April!

Love and Hate

5 Things I love today
1. Ben Harper’s album Live from Mars. “Roses from my friends” especially. Listen to this now.
2. For once a clean house will welcome me home
3. Pumpkin candles and Snickerdoodle coffee from Rembrants.
4. Party Planning and entertaining. The holidays are practically here!
5. 3 cups of tea. Still reading it. Still loving it.

5 Things I hate today
1. I just found out I have ONLY 10 more classes to finish my masters. That’s ridiculous
2. Generally Homework. Specifically an investments project on Coach
3. Every political article I read contradicts the one I read before. Who knows what to believe?
4. Itemizing American Express Bills
5. High Fives. Everyday I hate high fives.

McCain is the Anti-Christ. You heard it here first

Last night, I received another text message that proclaimed that Barack Hussein Obama is deceiving America. His “Christ like appeal”, his promise of hope and the fact that according to Revelation the beast will be allowed authority approximately 42 months which is almost equal to a 4 year term as president---(ALMOST, I mean we can’t expect the prophecies can’t get it exactly right) should convince us that Obama is indeed the Anti-Christ.
However, the fact that everyone assumes Obama is the Anti-Christ convinces me of the opposite. The entire notion that he may be “the one” originated from the McCain campaign. Clearly, McCain is trying to divert attention away from his own claim to the coveted Anti-Christ title. According to thenation.com, John McCain’s grandfather was actually named John Mihai. Mihai is an ancient Romanian name that means “who is like our Lord.” Why did McCain’s family change their name? Clearly, they were trying to hide their secret “elitist” identities as the Redeemers of the free World. Talk about a Messiah complex.

McCain has also made no secret of his intention to keep US troops in Iraq for 100 years. His motivation is to control Babylon for at least a century, clearly portraying his desire for World Domination and confirming prophecy. Scholars have ultimately noted that the Antichrist will marshal forces from Babylon to spark a showdown with Christian and Jewish-led forces in the battle of Armageddon. You may wonder how McCain will be around for 100 years. The answer is simple, the real McCain died two weeks ago and has been replaced with a robot that is being controlled by none other than Osama Bin Laden. Upon being elected, Osama will reveal himself as the man with the remote control and announce “who is the terrorist now suckers?”

It is going to be a pretty crazy day.

(For those of you who may question my motivation, this "theory" is obviously a tongue in cheek commentary on the status of today’s political discourse.)

Cleveland Rocks

For those of you who don't know, I've been involved in this program called Leadership Cleveland. It's an 8 month program where one day a month myself and my 16 classmates meet at the Chamber and learn about various aspects of our community. Yesterday was our Community Awareness/Tourism day. We began the day at the Museum where they currently have an exciting postcard exhibit (that comment was dripping with sarcasm), then we went to the Habitat for Humanity home store, The library, The COG headquarters, the Red Clay State Park and finished the day with a hayride at the Apple Vally Orchard. While some of it was a little "too" informational, it was very interesting to hear about Cleveland's rich History. I've never really been a small town girl so learning about the heritage of this small town was fascinating for me. Here are some fun facts from yesterday's historic walking tour:

The Spot opened its doors in 1937 as a snack bar named "Orange Teaco." It specialized in hamburgers and malted milk shakes. It was originally known for its unique way of serving hamburgers...by throwing them to customers. The spot still features its original chili recipe.

Cafe Roma's building used to serve as the news center of Cleveland and Bradley County from 1854 to 1936. The newspapers housed here included the Banner News, the Cleveland Journal, the Cleveland Journal and Banner and finally the Cleveland Daily Banner.

At 280 Ocoee Street, stands the former Apler's Shoe Store building where the Reverend Billy Graham worked as a shoe salesman during his brief enrollment at Bob Jones College.

Red Clay State Historic Park was the site of the last council grounds of the Cherokee nation before their removal along the tragic Trail of Tears. The sacred council spring produces more than 400,000 gallons of sapphire-blue water each day. It also houses one of the Cherokee Nation's eternal flames that represents their undying spirit.

The Houston Apartments (those awful looking white apartments where Ocoee and Broad meet) used to be the Cleveland Masonic Female institute that provided scholarships for young ladies unable to pay the school's modest tuition of $15 to $40 per year. The school was forced to close in 1861 during federal occupation of the city. It is believed that the building served as a hospital or military headquarters during the Civil War.

This blog was a Cleveland public service. Don't you feel so much smarter and better informed?

You're welcome

Changed for good

October 20,2006 is a day I promised I would never forget. It was the beginning of one of the hardest weeks of my life and the day I learned a hard truth. It was the day I realized I was not invincible. Two years later I remember Celeste with fondness. I don't know that I ever met a person so beautiful on the inside and out. She was a personification of joy and a perfect example of what God can do with a life wholy devoted to him. I still don't understand why she can no longer be here with us but I know that I would not be the person I am today without the influence she had on my life. She is still with those who were lucky enough to know her. While we all live in different places and are pursuing different dreams, a part of her is in all of us, reminding us to always find the humor in life, to always believe in ourselves and to always trust God because when all else fades away only He continues to be faithful.

Looks like someone has a case of the Monday's

You would think after a fun weekend that included my first Broadway show and my friend Tara's 14 day old baby Carter's first brunch I would be bursting with new reflections and insights for my blog but alas, I am not.

I did enjoy Wicked more than I expected and it was nice to get out of town and do something new. I was really impressed with the creativity of the story and how well the characters were developed. The highlight of the evening for me was during the intermission when the guy next to me commented, "So the witch wasn't really wicked after all," with passion and convinction indicitive of a revelation of great new truth that may possibly change the course of his life forever. I don't mean to imply that there was no moral of the story, I felt like it was a beautiful story of unlikely friendship and finding the good in others. It encouraged people to look past a person's often rough exterior and attempt to understand why they are who they are before we write them off completley by making inaccurate judgements.

In spite of a wonderful weekend, I'm feeling rather blah today, rather uninspired, very mechanistic in my approach to work and life in general. Tomorrow I'll be out of the office for Leadership Cleveland, which is always good for a change. I must admit I was a little apprehensive about the program but so far I've really enjoyed it. A change always does me good so hopefully tommorrow's blog will be a bit more chipper.

but before I conclude I must include a shout out (how much do I hate myself for just using the term shout out...) to my home town's baseball team, even though I cannot remember the last time I watched an entire game. I do know my brother is quite excited!

School is Hard

Every free moment outside of work for the last 2 weeks has been consumed by school. This morning I'm taking my second midterm of the semester. As a side note- I'm thinking about changing the title of my blog to, "I should be doing homework" because that sort of seems to be the theme lately anyway...I'm really struggling today because I have literally studied for this exam over 15 hours over the last 2 and a half days and I don't seem any closer to understanding the material. The worst part is that I feel like this stuff is so irrelevant to what I actually want to be doing with my life now and in the future. I can't imagine my ability (or lack there of at this point) to calculate the return, covariance and standard deviation of a equally weighted portfolio of 3 stocks with varying levels of risk to be an asset to humanitarian service but I guess you never know. There are so many other ways I want to be spending my free time now and most seem like worthy endeavors but I've committed to this and I really don't want to become a grad school drop out...I don't think. I keep trying to give myself motivational speeches that it will all be worth it in the end, no pain no gain, this is all necessary and important preparation but all I can think about is how much I miss this....

My test is in two hours, back to the books!

Independent Women

Yesterday, I left TJ Maxx, and walked out to my car that all of a sudden refused to start. I had planned to spend my Sunday afternoon reading Three cups of Tea (which is an amazing book I highly recommend) so I was a little annoyed at this interruption to my perfectly planned day. So who did I call to help? Jaime of course! If I say auto mechanic, isn't that who you think of too? She brought over jumper cables and we attempted to jump start my unresponsive vehicle. As the picture illustrates, Jaime was afraid of an electric shock and terrified to hook up the jumper cables. Living in a friendly small town, we were quickly approached by a nice young gentleman eager to assit two damsels in distress. After "fixing" the hook ups and spouting off some random and probably inaccurate car knowledge, he proceeded to tell us that he was at TJ Maxx to buy a 34 DD bra. I wish I was making this up...apparently his ex wife was getting out of jail and he had committed to preparing a parole pack for her release. He was also debating including oatmeal and several outfits in the color green since that was all she was given in prison and had complained about hating both things. Suddenly I was no longer a damsel in distress and had everything under control although I did talk Justin into stopping by just in case. I ended up getting my car towed (the battery shorted...) but I picked up my Jetta at lunch today and left only about $200 poorer. It could have been much worse I guess, I could have been the guy who left TJ Maxx empty handed and was forced to continue on his impossible quest for a 34 DD.

Forbidden Political Discourse

I’ve heard there are 3 things that you don’t ever talk about in social situations: religion, money and politics. All three of these topics have the potential to explode in conflict and hurt feelings when discussed among people of differing opinions. They are all areas that are closely tied to our personal convictions and therefore our very identity.

In case you are cut off from all forms of media and social interaction, America is in the middle of a heated political race. There are numerous important issues that inspire passionate reactions from most Americans, none of which I will dare discuss in this forum. I find myself one of the highly courted “undecided voters” who so much of today’s political discourse is centered around. I don’t feel strongly connected to either party and while there is a candidate I identify with, I am still unsure of where I stand on many of the important issues. While my rational side tells me it is unlikely that Tennessee will break tradition and go Democrat rendering my personal decision insignificant, I can’t help but think my vote is important and want desperately to make a decision that I can be proud of.

I struggled even expressing these feelings on my own personal blog. This past week I debated starting an anonymous blog so that I could openly discuss my views and questions about the issues. In my current environment questioning the Grand Old party seems the equivalent of denying my faith in God and this bothers me. When did Christianity become about conformity? When did the politics of our secular country become so deeply entwined in our personal relationship with God? Our American citizenship or party affiliation shouldn’t supersede our identity as followers of Jesus. Shouldn’t Christians above any other group of people be able to engage in an open and honest dialogue?

Donald Miller, the author of Blue like Jazz, is currently traveling with the Obama campaign, holding forums for discussion called Christians for Obama around the country. On his most recent blog, Donald stated that he understood the anger of Republican Christians at his views but implored “I hope you will trust that those of us who are voting for Barack Obama do so with the best intentions and for what we believe are good reasons.” If we truly believe in and respect our brothers and sisters in Christ then why can’t we respect that they have come to their decisions with the best of intentions. Why can’t we agree to disagree?

I’ve heard good arguments from both parties. However, it upsets me when people so quickly and completely dismiss those who stand on the opposite side of the issue. Am I naïvely trusting a candidate I should not? Do I not fully understand the important issues? Perhaps. However, would the best way to help me to change my mind be to angrily berate me or to calmly and civilly explain your side of the issue and why you are concerned that my candidate isn’t the best choice? Granted there is an appropriate time and place for this conversation but shouldn’t it be a conversation we have?

Are both candidates flawed? In my humble opinion, yes. But I am attempting to thoughtfully and rationally weigh the issues that are most important to me. Neither candidate is ideal. I can laugh at the impressions of both men and their Vice Presidential candidates (although, Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin is definitely my favorite). What I cannot understand is a Christian’s inability to openly discuss issues without hateful and judgmental attitudes towards those who disagree with us. I also have been guilty of this political typecasting and I hope and pray that I can openly consider the opinions of others and eventually come to the best decision for myself and my country. Let’s tell the truth in love and not in self-righteous indignation. Let’s talk.

McDonald's is Poison

This morning I was watching my friend's six year old girl for a couple of hours and I took her to get breakfast. I asked her where she wanted to go and she said McDonald's. Then she changed her mind and said, "Did you know McDonald's doesn't really have chicken? Well...sometimes its chicken and sometimes it is made in a lab and its poison for people. I don't eat chicken anymore." I asked her where she heard that and she said, "Oh the news. Don't you watch the news?"

Apparently Fast Food Nation had a bigger reach than I had originally assumed.

Now she is redecorating my not so kid friendly house.

You can't really have it all

I took this semester's first mid-term today, I'm attempting to get caught up on my massive to do list at work while my brain still does financial ratios and dividend calculations. Normally after I take a test that I've spent days cramming for I feel a sense of release. Today this is not the case. I'm kind of overwhelmed...kind of anxious and above all pensive. I have a lot of stuff on my mind and above all I think I have finally realized that I can't do it all. This past week has been consumed with trying to make A's in my MBA classes, trying to keep up with my ever increasing responsibilities at work and being there for birthdays, baby's births and homecomings. I'm exhausted and I had the simplest revelation that at the moment seemed completley profound. I really can't have it all. I cannot continue at this pace forever. It's time to prioritize my life and decide what is really important, what really deserves my full attention right now. What is this time in my life really all about? And this is where I am today.

When did I grow up? It's scary to all of a sudden wake up and realize how much I changed. My priorities are the same but the way I approch them is different. I told someone last night the greatest way to reform the way things are is by working in the system. I think I believe that now but I don't remember when I started believing that. Is it the beginning of maturity or the death of idealism?

And I'm still trying to figure out the amount of dividends that stupid company posted in 2007....

At least its the weekend

My Mom (get a snack this blogs a long one)

My Mom’s birthday was Sunday and as cheesy as it may be, I want to dedicate this blog to her. Any true illustration of my life would be incomplete without some recognition of the wonderful women who sacrificed so much to raise me.

I was definitely not a part of my parents plan. I was born 9 months and 11 days after their wedding day. My Dad was 18 and my Mom was 20. They were both in Bible school. Due to my little interruption, their educational plans were substantially altered. My Dad worked long hours as a cable splicer for Bell Canada and my Mom stayed at home taking care of me and continued her classes at night. Mom was always very protective of me and I never had one baby sitter. She did not however protect me when my father would tease me and tell me that I was a monkey they picked up from the zoo until I would cry (but I’ll forgive that because in their defense I was a bit of a crybaby). I was never allowed to eat sugar cereal and having junk food in the house was not common. I was the poor kid at lunch that never had anything good to trade. Most kids weren’t eager to give up their Swiss cake rolls for some carrot sticks or fruit juice sweetened cookies. When I went to my Grandma’s she would feel sorry for my deprived childhood and make me peanut butter sandwiches on white bread and I thought I was in heaven.

Probably the thing I admire most about my Mom is how selflessly she has always served others. I really and truly believe that she is a modern day saint. I was an only child until I was about 8 but I don’t ever remember it that way. My Mom and Dad were foster parents before Tyler came along and there were several kids who were regulars in our house. Those who came to us had horrible home lives and various special needs but my Mother always treated them just like her own. One little boy Shane put my cat Goober (yes, I named him) in the microwave for about 5 seconds. Goober was never the same after that. No matter how much of a disturbance they had on our home Mom had an abundance of patience and love for these hurting kids. My brother Kevin came to us as a foster child and quickly became a part of our family. My Mother was never afraid to open her home or her heart to those in need.

Mom eventually received her Master’s degree in Special Education and started teaching in the public school. During this time she met many hurting children who she truly committed her life to. One little boy in particular touched all of our lives in a profound way and ended up living in our home for several years. He was an affectionate little guy who required some patience but brought so much joy to our family. I remember the day he had to leave our home and how broken Mom was. I still can’t remember that day without crying.

Even in the midst of heart wrenching experiences, Mom didn’t stop giving. Today she is a teacher and an administrator at a school she started herself. It is a Christian school for children with special needs that currently has about 70 students. She and my father work tirelessly often 12 or more hours a day to ensure that every child has a chance to learn. Every time I go home I am so proud to hear stories from parents and other teachers about the dramatic impact my mother has on these children’s lives. I realize that this blog is already getting long so I won’t go into detail but there are tons of stories that stick out in my mind of parents who were told there was no hope and that their children would never learn and then experiencing seemingly impossible breakthroughs in my mother’s class.

Not only has she given tirelessly to other people’s children but she was a wonderful mother to me and my brother’s as well. I was a pretty decent child but a nightmare of a teenager. I was often emotional and irrational and just plain crazy (not too much has changedJ); however, as exasperated and often angry as Mom would get she never gave up. I remember when I started traveling to other countries for even months at a time and people would ask my Mom why she let me do these things and she responded, “I know this is God’s will for Jennifer’s life and no matter where it may take her, God’s will is the safest place for her to be.” It is that kind of faith that has shaped the person I am today. I could not have asked for a better mother or a better example of what a women of God truly is. While my words seem inadequate, I hope this somehow honors the women I am so lucky to have as my Mother. I would be nowhere if not for her example and her prayers. I love you Mom!

**And like myself, my Mother absolutely hates having her picture taken so hopefully the words above will make up for how angry she is that I posted some of my favorite funny pictures of her here.

I'm quite easily distracted

I should be doing my investments homework but instead I decided to post a picture that proves that the afore mentioned black and silver Doc Martens do actually exist and are in fact one of the few things that I just can't bring myself to get rid of. Although I'm pretty sure I won't wear them again...I guess you can never say never!

Good thing this money isn't real

I'm not sure how easily you'll be able to read this but at the beginning of this semester my investment teacher gave all of us $250,000 to invest in the stock market. The goal was to get the best return on the money possible (obviously). In light of the current economic climate most of the classes' portfolio's are negative but I am proud to announce that I have one of the most negative accounts (46 out of 62 to be exact). The biggest surprise to me was the amount of money I lost on Apple and Research in Motion (the company that makes Blackberry's) totalling over $50,000. I guess I should have traded when the stocks started plummeting but I kept thinking, "who doesn't want an i-phone?" Apparently that isn't reason enough to hold onto a stock. It's probably a good thing I ended up in non-profit work...

A Homage to Brunch

In a Simpson’s episode from the first season, Jacques, a Don Juan bowling instructor, tries to seduce Marge with his definition of brunch (read the following in a smooth and seductive tone): "It's not quite breakfast. It's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you get at breakfast, but you get a good meal."

Anyone who knows me knows that I love brunch. Eating the day’s first meal at 1:00 seems decadent, not to mention that you are free from the normal restrictions of what is appropriate to eat. One can just as easily order a hamburger as a blue crab omelet (my choice yesterday) and both are completely socially acceptable.

However, brunch is so much more than a Sunday afternoon meal, it is a social ritual. As I grow older and my responsibilities increase, it has become difficult to keep up with my friends whose lives have also become more structured and complicated. Sunday brunch has become a special occasion, time to unwind after a stressful week and recharge before another week begins. I think my favorite part is that there is never a need to rush. Our record has been 12 hours of Seinfeld-esque conversation covering everything from one friend’s new promotion, to the latest political debates, to the lack of love in my life (which seems to be a regular source of amusement). Yesterday’s brunch was in honor of one of my friends who had a rare leave from his Navy Seal’s training and did not disappoint my high standards for this sacred meal.

The Sound and The Fury

So...my first blog.

No pressure though right? As one of the late adaptors on this whole blog thing I actually feel quite a bit of pressure. Those who have gone before me have set the standard quite high. Most of my friends will attest to the fact that I definitely have no shortage of things to say or stories to tell but for some reason putting them in writing intimidates me a little. There is a fear that perhaps once written I’ll find my life isn’t so exciting or interesting after all. However, the biggest hurdle to my blog writing has been the narcissism that is inherent in keeping a personal blog. I have not entirely resolved this but I thought by naming my blog, Sound and Fury, tales told by an idiot, the self abasement would somehow negate the narcissism. The quote comes from one of my favorite Shakespearean plays Macbeth that I was forced to memorize passages from in high school.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

As a teenager, I was a bit more morose than I am today and was even compared to Daria on several occasions (I may have just dated myself a bit..the comparison was more of a attitude thing than a gothic thing and no I never wore knee high lace up boots. Although I did own a pair of black and silver Doc Marten's..but I digress) I loved this passage and believed that life was full of sound and fury that ultimately had no significance. While my outlook has obviously changed quite a bit since then I still find some truth in this passage. So much of what we say and do on a daily basis fails to carry any real worth into the world. I doubt that everything I write here will be profound or carry eternal value but I do hope that the end result of the chaos of my day to day life will be significant. And I hope this is an adequate introduction to my personal blog.