I want this job

Where do you apply for this job? I'm not much of a dancer and I don't really like my picture taken but I think I'd persevere to do this. I mean imagine all the stamps he has in his passport?!

Actually...being the camera man for this project would be my dream job....anyone want to be the dancer?

I want out of the country so bad it hurts...Thanks April!

Love and Hate

5 Things I love today
1. Ben Harper’s album Live from Mars. “Roses from my friends” especially. Listen to this now.
2. For once a clean house will welcome me home
3. Pumpkin candles and Snickerdoodle coffee from Rembrants.
4. Party Planning and entertaining. The holidays are practically here!
5. 3 cups of tea. Still reading it. Still loving it.

5 Things I hate today
1. I just found out I have ONLY 10 more classes to finish my masters. That’s ridiculous
2. Generally Homework. Specifically an investments project on Coach
3. Every political article I read contradicts the one I read before. Who knows what to believe?
4. Itemizing American Express Bills
5. High Fives. Everyday I hate high fives.

McCain is the Anti-Christ. You heard it here first

Last night, I received another text message that proclaimed that Barack Hussein Obama is deceiving America. His “Christ like appeal”, his promise of hope and the fact that according to Revelation the beast will be allowed authority approximately 42 months which is almost equal to a 4 year term as president---(ALMOST, I mean we can’t expect the prophecies can’t get it exactly right) should convince us that Obama is indeed the Anti-Christ.
However, the fact that everyone assumes Obama is the Anti-Christ convinces me of the opposite. The entire notion that he may be “the one” originated from the McCain campaign. Clearly, McCain is trying to divert attention away from his own claim to the coveted Anti-Christ title. According to thenation.com, John McCain’s grandfather was actually named John Mihai. Mihai is an ancient Romanian name that means “who is like our Lord.” Why did McCain’s family change their name? Clearly, they were trying to hide their secret “elitist” identities as the Redeemers of the free World. Talk about a Messiah complex.

McCain has also made no secret of his intention to keep US troops in Iraq for 100 years. His motivation is to control Babylon for at least a century, clearly portraying his desire for World Domination and confirming prophecy. Scholars have ultimately noted that the Antichrist will marshal forces from Babylon to spark a showdown with Christian and Jewish-led forces in the battle of Armageddon. You may wonder how McCain will be around for 100 years. The answer is simple, the real McCain died two weeks ago and has been replaced with a robot that is being controlled by none other than Osama Bin Laden. Upon being elected, Osama will reveal himself as the man with the remote control and announce “who is the terrorist now suckers?”

It is going to be a pretty crazy day.

(For those of you who may question my motivation, this "theory" is obviously a tongue in cheek commentary on the status of today’s political discourse.)

Cleveland Rocks

For those of you who don't know, I've been involved in this program called Leadership Cleveland. It's an 8 month program where one day a month myself and my 16 classmates meet at the Chamber and learn about various aspects of our community. Yesterday was our Community Awareness/Tourism day. We began the day at the Museum where they currently have an exciting postcard exhibit (that comment was dripping with sarcasm), then we went to the Habitat for Humanity home store, The library, The COG headquarters, the Red Clay State Park and finished the day with a hayride at the Apple Vally Orchard. While some of it was a little "too" informational, it was very interesting to hear about Cleveland's rich History. I've never really been a small town girl so learning about the heritage of this small town was fascinating for me. Here are some fun facts from yesterday's historic walking tour:

The Spot opened its doors in 1937 as a snack bar named "Orange Teaco." It specialized in hamburgers and malted milk shakes. It was originally known for its unique way of serving hamburgers...by throwing them to customers. The spot still features its original chili recipe.

Cafe Roma's building used to serve as the news center of Cleveland and Bradley County from 1854 to 1936. The newspapers housed here included the Banner News, the Cleveland Journal, the Cleveland Journal and Banner and finally the Cleveland Daily Banner.

At 280 Ocoee Street, stands the former Apler's Shoe Store building where the Reverend Billy Graham worked as a shoe salesman during his brief enrollment at Bob Jones College.

Red Clay State Historic Park was the site of the last council grounds of the Cherokee nation before their removal along the tragic Trail of Tears. The sacred council spring produces more than 400,000 gallons of sapphire-blue water each day. It also houses one of the Cherokee Nation's eternal flames that represents their undying spirit.

The Houston Apartments (those awful looking white apartments where Ocoee and Broad meet) used to be the Cleveland Masonic Female institute that provided scholarships for young ladies unable to pay the school's modest tuition of $15 to $40 per year. The school was forced to close in 1861 during federal occupation of the city. It is believed that the building served as a hospital or military headquarters during the Civil War.

This blog was a Cleveland public service. Don't you feel so much smarter and better informed?

You're welcome

Changed for good

October 20,2006 is a day I promised I would never forget. It was the beginning of one of the hardest weeks of my life and the day I learned a hard truth. It was the day I realized I was not invincible. Two years later I remember Celeste with fondness. I don't know that I ever met a person so beautiful on the inside and out. She was a personification of joy and a perfect example of what God can do with a life wholy devoted to him. I still don't understand why she can no longer be here with us but I know that I would not be the person I am today without the influence she had on my life. She is still with those who were lucky enough to know her. While we all live in different places and are pursuing different dreams, a part of her is in all of us, reminding us to always find the humor in life, to always believe in ourselves and to always trust God because when all else fades away only He continues to be faithful.

Looks like someone has a case of the Monday's

You would think after a fun weekend that included my first Broadway show and my friend Tara's 14 day old baby Carter's first brunch I would be bursting with new reflections and insights for my blog but alas, I am not.

I did enjoy Wicked more than I expected and it was nice to get out of town and do something new. I was really impressed with the creativity of the story and how well the characters were developed. The highlight of the evening for me was during the intermission when the guy next to me commented, "So the witch wasn't really wicked after all," with passion and convinction indicitive of a revelation of great new truth that may possibly change the course of his life forever. I don't mean to imply that there was no moral of the story, I felt like it was a beautiful story of unlikely friendship and finding the good in others. It encouraged people to look past a person's often rough exterior and attempt to understand why they are who they are before we write them off completley by making inaccurate judgements.

In spite of a wonderful weekend, I'm feeling rather blah today, rather uninspired, very mechanistic in my approach to work and life in general. Tomorrow I'll be out of the office for Leadership Cleveland, which is always good for a change. I must admit I was a little apprehensive about the program but so far I've really enjoyed it. A change always does me good so hopefully tommorrow's blog will be a bit more chipper.

but before I conclude I must include a shout out (how much do I hate myself for just using the term shout out...) to my home town's baseball team, even though I cannot remember the last time I watched an entire game. I do know my brother is quite excited!

School is Hard

Every free moment outside of work for the last 2 weeks has been consumed by school. This morning I'm taking my second midterm of the semester. As a side note- I'm thinking about changing the title of my blog to, "I should be doing homework" because that sort of seems to be the theme lately anyway...I'm really struggling today because I have literally studied for this exam over 15 hours over the last 2 and a half days and I don't seem any closer to understanding the material. The worst part is that I feel like this stuff is so irrelevant to what I actually want to be doing with my life now and in the future. I can't imagine my ability (or lack there of at this point) to calculate the return, covariance and standard deviation of a equally weighted portfolio of 3 stocks with varying levels of risk to be an asset to humanitarian service but I guess you never know. There are so many other ways I want to be spending my free time now and most seem like worthy endeavors but I've committed to this and I really don't want to become a grad school drop out...I don't think. I keep trying to give myself motivational speeches that it will all be worth it in the end, no pain no gain, this is all necessary and important preparation but all I can think about is how much I miss this....

My test is in two hours, back to the books!

Independent Women

Yesterday, I left TJ Maxx, and walked out to my car that all of a sudden refused to start. I had planned to spend my Sunday afternoon reading Three cups of Tea (which is an amazing book I highly recommend) so I was a little annoyed at this interruption to my perfectly planned day. So who did I call to help? Jaime of course! If I say auto mechanic, isn't that who you think of too? She brought over jumper cables and we attempted to jump start my unresponsive vehicle. As the picture illustrates, Jaime was afraid of an electric shock and terrified to hook up the jumper cables. Living in a friendly small town, we were quickly approached by a nice young gentleman eager to assit two damsels in distress. After "fixing" the hook ups and spouting off some random and probably inaccurate car knowledge, he proceeded to tell us that he was at TJ Maxx to buy a 34 DD bra. I wish I was making this up...apparently his ex wife was getting out of jail and he had committed to preparing a parole pack for her release. He was also debating including oatmeal and several outfits in the color green since that was all she was given in prison and had complained about hating both things. Suddenly I was no longer a damsel in distress and had everything under control although I did talk Justin into stopping by just in case. I ended up getting my car towed (the battery shorted...) but I picked up my Jetta at lunch today and left only about $200 poorer. It could have been much worse I guess, I could have been the guy who left TJ Maxx empty handed and was forced to continue on his impossible quest for a 34 DD.

Forbidden Political Discourse

I’ve heard there are 3 things that you don’t ever talk about in social situations: religion, money and politics. All three of these topics have the potential to explode in conflict and hurt feelings when discussed among people of differing opinions. They are all areas that are closely tied to our personal convictions and therefore our very identity.

In case you are cut off from all forms of media and social interaction, America is in the middle of a heated political race. There are numerous important issues that inspire passionate reactions from most Americans, none of which I will dare discuss in this forum. I find myself one of the highly courted “undecided voters” who so much of today’s political discourse is centered around. I don’t feel strongly connected to either party and while there is a candidate I identify with, I am still unsure of where I stand on many of the important issues. While my rational side tells me it is unlikely that Tennessee will break tradition and go Democrat rendering my personal decision insignificant, I can’t help but think my vote is important and want desperately to make a decision that I can be proud of.

I struggled even expressing these feelings on my own personal blog. This past week I debated starting an anonymous blog so that I could openly discuss my views and questions about the issues. In my current environment questioning the Grand Old party seems the equivalent of denying my faith in God and this bothers me. When did Christianity become about conformity? When did the politics of our secular country become so deeply entwined in our personal relationship with God? Our American citizenship or party affiliation shouldn’t supersede our identity as followers of Jesus. Shouldn’t Christians above any other group of people be able to engage in an open and honest dialogue?

Donald Miller, the author of Blue like Jazz, is currently traveling with the Obama campaign, holding forums for discussion called Christians for Obama around the country. On his most recent blog, Donald stated that he understood the anger of Republican Christians at his views but implored “I hope you will trust that those of us who are voting for Barack Obama do so with the best intentions and for what we believe are good reasons.” If we truly believe in and respect our brothers and sisters in Christ then why can’t we respect that they have come to their decisions with the best of intentions. Why can’t we agree to disagree?

I’ve heard good arguments from both parties. However, it upsets me when people so quickly and completely dismiss those who stand on the opposite side of the issue. Am I naïvely trusting a candidate I should not? Do I not fully understand the important issues? Perhaps. However, would the best way to help me to change my mind be to angrily berate me or to calmly and civilly explain your side of the issue and why you are concerned that my candidate isn’t the best choice? Granted there is an appropriate time and place for this conversation but shouldn’t it be a conversation we have?

Are both candidates flawed? In my humble opinion, yes. But I am attempting to thoughtfully and rationally weigh the issues that are most important to me. Neither candidate is ideal. I can laugh at the impressions of both men and their Vice Presidential candidates (although, Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin is definitely my favorite). What I cannot understand is a Christian’s inability to openly discuss issues without hateful and judgmental attitudes towards those who disagree with us. I also have been guilty of this political typecasting and I hope and pray that I can openly consider the opinions of others and eventually come to the best decision for myself and my country. Let’s tell the truth in love and not in self-righteous indignation. Let’s talk.

McDonald's is Poison

This morning I was watching my friend's six year old girl for a couple of hours and I took her to get breakfast. I asked her where she wanted to go and she said McDonald's. Then she changed her mind and said, "Did you know McDonald's doesn't really have chicken? Well...sometimes its chicken and sometimes it is made in a lab and its poison for people. I don't eat chicken anymore." I asked her where she heard that and she said, "Oh the news. Don't you watch the news?"

Apparently Fast Food Nation had a bigger reach than I had originally assumed.

Now she is redecorating my not so kid friendly house.

You can't really have it all

I took this semester's first mid-term today, I'm attempting to get caught up on my massive to do list at work while my brain still does financial ratios and dividend calculations. Normally after I take a test that I've spent days cramming for I feel a sense of release. Today this is not the case. I'm kind of overwhelmed...kind of anxious and above all pensive. I have a lot of stuff on my mind and above all I think I have finally realized that I can't do it all. This past week has been consumed with trying to make A's in my MBA classes, trying to keep up with my ever increasing responsibilities at work and being there for birthdays, baby's births and homecomings. I'm exhausted and I had the simplest revelation that at the moment seemed completley profound. I really can't have it all. I cannot continue at this pace forever. It's time to prioritize my life and decide what is really important, what really deserves my full attention right now. What is this time in my life really all about? And this is where I am today.

When did I grow up? It's scary to all of a sudden wake up and realize how much I changed. My priorities are the same but the way I approch them is different. I told someone last night the greatest way to reform the way things are is by working in the system. I think I believe that now but I don't remember when I started believing that. Is it the beginning of maturity or the death of idealism?

And I'm still trying to figure out the amount of dividends that stupid company posted in 2007....

At least its the weekend

My Mom (get a snack this blogs a long one)

My Mom’s birthday was Sunday and as cheesy as it may be, I want to dedicate this blog to her. Any true illustration of my life would be incomplete without some recognition of the wonderful women who sacrificed so much to raise me.

I was definitely not a part of my parents plan. I was born 9 months and 11 days after their wedding day. My Dad was 18 and my Mom was 20. They were both in Bible school. Due to my little interruption, their educational plans were substantially altered. My Dad worked long hours as a cable splicer for Bell Canada and my Mom stayed at home taking care of me and continued her classes at night. Mom was always very protective of me and I never had one baby sitter. She did not however protect me when my father would tease me and tell me that I was a monkey they picked up from the zoo until I would cry (but I’ll forgive that because in their defense I was a bit of a crybaby). I was never allowed to eat sugar cereal and having junk food in the house was not common. I was the poor kid at lunch that never had anything good to trade. Most kids weren’t eager to give up their Swiss cake rolls for some carrot sticks or fruit juice sweetened cookies. When I went to my Grandma’s she would feel sorry for my deprived childhood and make me peanut butter sandwiches on white bread and I thought I was in heaven.

Probably the thing I admire most about my Mom is how selflessly she has always served others. I really and truly believe that she is a modern day saint. I was an only child until I was about 8 but I don’t ever remember it that way. My Mom and Dad were foster parents before Tyler came along and there were several kids who were regulars in our house. Those who came to us had horrible home lives and various special needs but my Mother always treated them just like her own. One little boy Shane put my cat Goober (yes, I named him) in the microwave for about 5 seconds. Goober was never the same after that. No matter how much of a disturbance they had on our home Mom had an abundance of patience and love for these hurting kids. My brother Kevin came to us as a foster child and quickly became a part of our family. My Mother was never afraid to open her home or her heart to those in need.

Mom eventually received her Master’s degree in Special Education and started teaching in the public school. During this time she met many hurting children who she truly committed her life to. One little boy in particular touched all of our lives in a profound way and ended up living in our home for several years. He was an affectionate little guy who required some patience but brought so much joy to our family. I remember the day he had to leave our home and how broken Mom was. I still can’t remember that day without crying.

Even in the midst of heart wrenching experiences, Mom didn’t stop giving. Today she is a teacher and an administrator at a school she started herself. It is a Christian school for children with special needs that currently has about 70 students. She and my father work tirelessly often 12 or more hours a day to ensure that every child has a chance to learn. Every time I go home I am so proud to hear stories from parents and other teachers about the dramatic impact my mother has on these children’s lives. I realize that this blog is already getting long so I won’t go into detail but there are tons of stories that stick out in my mind of parents who were told there was no hope and that their children would never learn and then experiencing seemingly impossible breakthroughs in my mother’s class.

Not only has she given tirelessly to other people’s children but she was a wonderful mother to me and my brother’s as well. I was a pretty decent child but a nightmare of a teenager. I was often emotional and irrational and just plain crazy (not too much has changedJ); however, as exasperated and often angry as Mom would get she never gave up. I remember when I started traveling to other countries for even months at a time and people would ask my Mom why she let me do these things and she responded, “I know this is God’s will for Jennifer’s life and no matter where it may take her, God’s will is the safest place for her to be.” It is that kind of faith that has shaped the person I am today. I could not have asked for a better mother or a better example of what a women of God truly is. While my words seem inadequate, I hope this somehow honors the women I am so lucky to have as my Mother. I would be nowhere if not for her example and her prayers. I love you Mom!

**And like myself, my Mother absolutely hates having her picture taken so hopefully the words above will make up for how angry she is that I posted some of my favorite funny pictures of her here.

I'm quite easily distracted

I should be doing my investments homework but instead I decided to post a picture that proves that the afore mentioned black and silver Doc Martens do actually exist and are in fact one of the few things that I just can't bring myself to get rid of. Although I'm pretty sure I won't wear them again...I guess you can never say never!

Good thing this money isn't real

I'm not sure how easily you'll be able to read this but at the beginning of this semester my investment teacher gave all of us $250,000 to invest in the stock market. The goal was to get the best return on the money possible (obviously). In light of the current economic climate most of the classes' portfolio's are negative but I am proud to announce that I have one of the most negative accounts (46 out of 62 to be exact). The biggest surprise to me was the amount of money I lost on Apple and Research in Motion (the company that makes Blackberry's) totalling over $50,000. I guess I should have traded when the stocks started plummeting but I kept thinking, "who doesn't want an i-phone?" Apparently that isn't reason enough to hold onto a stock. It's probably a good thing I ended up in non-profit work...

A Homage to Brunch

In a Simpson’s episode from the first season, Jacques, a Don Juan bowling instructor, tries to seduce Marge with his definition of brunch (read the following in a smooth and seductive tone): "It's not quite breakfast. It's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you get at breakfast, but you get a good meal."

Anyone who knows me knows that I love brunch. Eating the day’s first meal at 1:00 seems decadent, not to mention that you are free from the normal restrictions of what is appropriate to eat. One can just as easily order a hamburger as a blue crab omelet (my choice yesterday) and both are completely socially acceptable.

However, brunch is so much more than a Sunday afternoon meal, it is a social ritual. As I grow older and my responsibilities increase, it has become difficult to keep up with my friends whose lives have also become more structured and complicated. Sunday brunch has become a special occasion, time to unwind after a stressful week and recharge before another week begins. I think my favorite part is that there is never a need to rush. Our record has been 12 hours of Seinfeld-esque conversation covering everything from one friend’s new promotion, to the latest political debates, to the lack of love in my life (which seems to be a regular source of amusement). Yesterday’s brunch was in honor of one of my friends who had a rare leave from his Navy Seal’s training and did not disappoint my high standards for this sacred meal.

The Sound and The Fury

So...my first blog.

No pressure though right? As one of the late adaptors on this whole blog thing I actually feel quite a bit of pressure. Those who have gone before me have set the standard quite high. Most of my friends will attest to the fact that I definitely have no shortage of things to say or stories to tell but for some reason putting them in writing intimidates me a little. There is a fear that perhaps once written I’ll find my life isn’t so exciting or interesting after all. However, the biggest hurdle to my blog writing has been the narcissism that is inherent in keeping a personal blog. I have not entirely resolved this but I thought by naming my blog, Sound and Fury, tales told by an idiot, the self abasement would somehow negate the narcissism. The quote comes from one of my favorite Shakespearean plays Macbeth that I was forced to memorize passages from in high school.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

As a teenager, I was a bit more morose than I am today and was even compared to Daria on several occasions (I may have just dated myself a bit..the comparison was more of a attitude thing than a gothic thing and no I never wore knee high lace up boots. Although I did own a pair of black and silver Doc Marten's..but I digress) I loved this passage and believed that life was full of sound and fury that ultimately had no significance. While my outlook has obviously changed quite a bit since then I still find some truth in this passage. So much of what we say and do on a daily basis fails to carry any real worth into the world. I doubt that everything I write here will be profound or carry eternal value but I do hope that the end result of the chaos of my day to day life will be significant. And I hope this is an adequate introduction to my personal blog.