30 and Single

I’m single and now officially “in my 30s.”

This is a fact I don’t regularly acknowledge outside of my circle of friends. Not because I’m ashamed, but because it inevitably seems to inspire pity from every hearer who does happen to be married. Would I like to be married? Absolutely, but I’m also pretty content with my current situation. I have a pretty full life with great friends and a wonderful job full of opportunities.

I know, I know. Thou doth protest too much. But seriously.

While I’m content with where I am right now, being single and 30 definitely has its share of challenges. I’ve shared this revelation a 100 times and every time I’ve been told that I need to write it so here it is:

Being single and 30 is like shopping in a GAP factory outlet.

“What!” you exclaim, Why ever would you say that?”

Ok baby bird; get ready because mama’s going to feed you.
*(Statements like that are probably why I remain single)

When I was about 22 years old, I went on a summer tour with a group called Master’s Commission. During this trip we visited various churches and camps and did skits and music and teachings blah blah blah. On the way home from one of the camps we stopped at the GAP factory store. I think it was in Virginia. Our leaders had been talking about this place for months. It seemed every time I complimented one of the older girls on her jeans or her sweater they would respond, “thank you. I bought it at the GAP outlet for $2.” Really. Every time. So on this fated summer day, our whole group of poor college students was buzzing with anticipation as we headed towards the legendary factory store.

We pulled into the gigantic parking lot were told we only had 1 hour before we had to get back on the road. Only one hour to spend what we expected to be the greatest store on earth?! We piled out of the 15 passenger van (I’ve spent more time than I care to discuss in 15 passenger vans) and sprinted to the store like we were on the game show Supermarket Sweep. Initially everything we had been told was true. They were racks of jeans for $8 and bins of items for $2 and then 50% off that! It was a dream come true….initially. The first pair of jeans I tried on had a huge hole in one of the belt loops. A sweater I pulled out of the $2 bin had a big tear in the underarm. There was a mismatched sock in the bin. I still have no idea why someone would buy a single sock. I guess a guy with just one leg might…but that’s a whole different story.

So, what began as the greatest shopping day of my life ended up being a bit of a disappointment as I discovered that every one of the items I had excitedly grabbed was there for a reason. Sure, a couple of my friends found some great items; however, I found nothing.

And this is why I compare single and 30 to a visit to the afore mentioned factory store. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have met a guy who seemed absolutely perfect for me and thought, “why in the world is this guy still single? He is amazing!” Only to discover a few weeks later that he has a weird obsession with Nickleback, or he refuses to do his own laundry or he’s an incredible narcissist. Like the $2 sweater in the bin, there is a reason he is there and upon discovering the truth, with a bit of disappointment, I am forced to put him back into the bin.

I understand that I am also still in the bin myself but I’m working on it :)

As an afterthought, I'd also like to point out that my lack of luck at the outlet didn't mean that there weren't good things available. I just didn't find them. I'm hopeful that there are still some great items out there, I'll just have to look a little longer. Or plan to visit the store on Tuesdays, when they put out the fresh stock.