The Big Short

***By the way I've "officially" moved my blog to jennt.tumblr.com. I don't think you can post comments yet but I like the format better. I'll be keeping this blog up until I build a better "history" on my tumblr account.

At the beginning of the year I set a goal to read at least one “non-required” book a month. While this may not seem like a big feat to some people, its a lofty goal in the middle of a full time job and 12 hours of Masters level courses. I’ve done pretty good so far. This month I completed “God of the Possible” and “The Big Short.”

One of my geekiest interests is economics and finance. The concept of mortgage backed securities and the failure of the derivatives market has always fascinated me but I wanted a better understanding. This book is exactly what I was looking for. Michael’s Lewis’ novel tells the story of our current financial crisis from the point of view of people who actually made money when the economy collapsed by shorting (betting against) mortgage backed securities. I know what your thinking, it doesn’t sound entertaining at all. However, the characters are so well developed that by the end of the novel I found myself cheering for the economy to collapse so these guys could get the recognition and money they deserved. My favorite character has aspergers, a lazy eye and no formal training in economics. His obsession with investments leads him to create a consistently profitable private equity fund. When he starts placing multi million dollar bets on the fact that people will default on sub-prime, floating rate mortgages, his investors think he’s gone crazy. I just couldn’t wait for the “I told you so.”

In the prologue, the author admits that he began this story as a “let the market run” Republican. However, by the end of his investigation he found himself convinced that tighter controls and government regulations of, at very least,the bond market aren’t just a good idea but absolutely necessary. Someone needs to protect the world’s economy from the unchecked greed of individual investors and traders. The negligence of ratings agencies is shocking and scary. It seems that economics is more of an art than a hard science. The impact that we will see from the introduction of newly invented bonds and securities (that amount to nothing more than trading not assets but risk itself) into an already unstable economy can only be speculated upon. This scares me. I guess it should scare all of us.

At the risk of starting an entirely different debate, this is exactly why during the last presidential election I would become so frustrated when people suggested that this new “socialism” would ruin our economy. I am not a socialist but I also don’t believe capitalism (at least in its current form) is a perfect economic system. The unchecked capitalism that our whole financial system is built upon is flawed in many ways. If individuals were perfect, sinless and without greed, laissez-faire capitalism would work. However, this is not the case. There must be some control to protect the interest and future of those who don’t have a hand in this financial game.

I’d definitely recommend this book but with the caveat that there is a bit of financial theory and economic vocabulary that I had to struggle through.

Home

I remember when I interviewed for my job at PCL. Dr.Garmon showed me a video about Cambodia. At the time I had no idea where Cambodia was and (ashamedly) I knew nothing of their violent history or of the Khmer empire and the Angkor Watt temples. I had never really been interested in Asia but never one to say no to an opportunity to travel, after accepting the job, I anxiously awaited my first trip.

Almost 4 years later, I cannot believe how this tiny country literally on the other side of the world has become a second home to me. Now I live in this weird dichotomy, always missing wherever I'm not, always leaving a piece of me somewhere. This short trip has been especially challenging, saying hello and goodbye almost in the same breath.

I love being greeted by Rosita and Mony who work in our coffee shop with a "where you go" every time I walk in the door. I enjoy haggling with tuk tuk drivers over a $1 difference in fair, surprising women in the market with one of my 4 well-practiced Khmer phrases, promising Sine at the orphanage I'll learn more Khmer soon. I even find comfort in not always understanding what's going on around me, I've learned to enjoy the moments where I don't need to make conversation because no one would understand me anyway. I feel at home on the road where everything is new, unexpected and never as simple as it should be.

I know I'm where I'm supposed to be but sometimes I wish it were here.

Something New

I'm thinking about moving my blog here...

www.jennt.tumblr.com



Thoughts?

The boy who Harnessed the Wind

I love this book. It’s the story of William, a boy from Malawi Africa, who had a dream that was bigger than his circumstances. Armed with a borrowed book and without any formal education, William built a windmill out of trash that provided electricity for his small village. What struck me most about his story is his determination and hope in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. William could have easily played the victim and simply took what life had handed him. However, he used what was available to him to make an amazing impact on not only his own life but on his entire village. I definitely teared up a couple of times. It also does a great job of explaining African culture inclduing their belief in magic and the fear they live in as a result. Its an incredible story.

Superbowl Sunday

If I was going to spend 2.5 million dollars on a thirty second Superbowl ad, I would use the time to remind all University of Tennessee football fans that a colts win does not in any way make the Volunteers a better college team.

But seriously, All politics aside, I agree with this guy:



www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/02/06/martin.tebow.superbowl.ad/index.html

30 and Single

I’m single and now officially “in my 30s.”

This is a fact I don’t regularly acknowledge outside of my circle of friends. Not because I’m ashamed, but because it inevitably seems to inspire pity from every hearer who does happen to be married. Would I like to be married? Absolutely, but I’m also pretty content with my current situation. I have a pretty full life with great friends and a wonderful job full of opportunities.

I know, I know. Thou doth protest too much. But seriously.

While I’m content with where I am right now, being single and 30 definitely has its share of challenges. I’ve shared this revelation a 100 times and every time I’ve been told that I need to write it so here it is:

Being single and 30 is like shopping in a GAP factory outlet.

“What!” you exclaim, Why ever would you say that?”

Ok baby bird; get ready because mama’s going to feed you.
*(Statements like that are probably why I remain single)

When I was about 22 years old, I went on a summer tour with a group called Master’s Commission. During this trip we visited various churches and camps and did skits and music and teachings blah blah blah. On the way home from one of the camps we stopped at the GAP factory store. I think it was in Virginia. Our leaders had been talking about this place for months. It seemed every time I complimented one of the older girls on her jeans or her sweater they would respond, “thank you. I bought it at the GAP outlet for $2.” Really. Every time. So on this fated summer day, our whole group of poor college students was buzzing with anticipation as we headed towards the legendary factory store.

We pulled into the gigantic parking lot were told we only had 1 hour before we had to get back on the road. Only one hour to spend what we expected to be the greatest store on earth?! We piled out of the 15 passenger van (I’ve spent more time than I care to discuss in 15 passenger vans) and sprinted to the store like we were on the game show Supermarket Sweep. Initially everything we had been told was true. They were racks of jeans for $8 and bins of items for $2 and then 50% off that! It was a dream come true….initially. The first pair of jeans I tried on had a huge hole in one of the belt loops. A sweater I pulled out of the $2 bin had a big tear in the underarm. There was a mismatched sock in the bin. I still have no idea why someone would buy a single sock. I guess a guy with just one leg might…but that’s a whole different story.

So, what began as the greatest shopping day of my life ended up being a bit of a disappointment as I discovered that every one of the items I had excitedly grabbed was there for a reason. Sure, a couple of my friends found some great items; however, I found nothing.

And this is why I compare single and 30 to a visit to the afore mentioned factory store. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have met a guy who seemed absolutely perfect for me and thought, “why in the world is this guy still single? He is amazing!” Only to discover a few weeks later that he has a weird obsession with Nickleback, or he refuses to do his own laundry or he’s an incredible narcissist. Like the $2 sweater in the bin, there is a reason he is there and upon discovering the truth, with a bit of disappointment, I am forced to put him back into the bin.

I understand that I am also still in the bin myself but I’m working on it :)

As an afterthought, I'd also like to point out that my lack of luck at the outlet didn't mean that there weren't good things available. I just didn't find them. I'm hopeful that there are still some great items out there, I'll just have to look a little longer. Or plan to visit the store on Tuesdays, when they put out the fresh stock.

The King sits with us

Julie, our Northern Cambodian director, sent me an email yesterday about a small village she visited for the first time. She said she spoke about Emmanuel, which in Cambodian translates to "the king sits with us" and what an amazing experience it was to have the king sit with them for a while in an obscure Cambodian village. This translation really resonated with me. For some reason, it seems so much more personal and so much more special that The King himself would take the time to sit with me and have a cup of coffee with no real agenda during the hectic holiday season.

Story

Now that I'm school free I've rediscovered the joy of reading for fun. Last Saturday morning, I woke up late after not setting an alarm (something I had not been free to do for literally months) and stayed in bed for a couple of hours reading. It was a perfect morning. It's amazing how much you appreciate something so simple when you've not been able to do it for so long.

I've been reading Donald Millers new book, "A million miles in a Thousand years."
Have you ever read a book and felt as if it found its way to your hands at exactly that moment in time by some sort of divine intervention. The words are just a bit too relevant, the story just a bit too telling.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
telling my life with his words
killing me softly with his song.

Perhaps I'm being a bit over-dramatic (As I've mentioned before, I do have a certain flair for the dramatic) but there is really so much in this book that is inspiring and challenging me. It's about story, which is always a concept I've been facinated with. Everyone is living a story with the day to day of their lives, never really knowing what part of the story they are living or what our role contributes to another's story.

I think about people I've met, like a pastor in Ethiopia, who grew up in a poor village and couldn't afford to go to school. Completley illiterate at the age of 12,his older brother became a teacher in the city and finally came to get him so he could attend school. He cried the first time he had to ride in a car because he had never seen such a scary contraption and felt trapped inside of it. While attending high school in the city, he met a missonary couple who took an interest in him and he became a Christian. As a result, he was kicked out of his home and disowned by his family. However, he endured hard times and eventually was able to go to Europe to bible school. He returned to Ethiopia, stared a large chuch, was imprisioned for his faith, was miraculously released and joined the bible institue where he oversaw the translation of the bible into several tribal languages. Today he is responsible for literally thousands of students in rural schools. He wants to give these children something he never had, a chance at a brighter future. He has committed his life to this. He is one of the most amazing and inspring men I've ever had the pleasue to meet.

I feel that telling this story in such an abbreviated fashion is almost disrepectful; However, the part of the story that continues to fascinate me is the unnamed missionary couple who first took an interest in a young Ethiopian high school boy. I wonder if he still keeps in contact with them, I wish I would have asked. It is just as likely that he didn't and that is my point. These people had no idea the role they were playing in the story of his life. They may not know today that their obedience to go to Ethiopia, their choice to care for one young boy, continues to literally change the lives of thousands of children in that country.

There are many people that have played significant roles in my life and are probably completley unaware. I wonder if I've ever given that desperately needed encouragement or inpiration. I wonder if I've had the opportunity and missed it because I was focused on something more shallow or selfish. I want to commit to writing better stories with my life.

"A character is what he does...we can't just say it...we have to show it."

Much more on stories to come...I know my blog is bland and in desperate need of pictures. I'm working on it

$5 Footlongs

Last week, in the midst of finals I stumbled upon the following article about Subway's $5 footlong promotion that wasn't the product of some marketing genius or a business savy Board of Directors but a store mananger in South Florida. In fact, the promotion was ignored for a year and then initially rejected by Subway's board of directors. However, this $5 footlong "phnomenon" not only boosted Subway to record sales (they earned an unprecedented 17% growth in a time of economic recession) but in the process, also "scrambled the whole industry." Every fast food restaurant seems to have some sort of copy on the $5 deal. It is surprising that a franchise that wasn't even in the top 10 last year is now setting the standard for the entire industry. In 2009, Subway gained more market share than both Burger King, Wendy's and Arby's. In 2010, Subway is poised to have more world-wide locations than Industry leader, McDonalds.

The success of this strategy "illustrates how a huge company can wake up and eventually seize on a good idea that's not generated at headquarters." It reminds me of the emergent school of strategic management that we discussed in my last International Business class. It is basically strategic managements reponse to the chaos theory, in that it only places limited importanance on top-down business strategy. This strategy, recognizes the fact that it is the day to day responses to a quickly changing environment that really determine success. We cannot predict the future so any long term plan must be fluid and flexible. A window of opportunity is usually only opened for a short period and the companies that can capitalize on that opportunity quickly are those who win. See...I really did learn something!

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/09_46/b4155058815908.htm

Share my Misery

Just to prove I'm not completley overdramatic, this is one HALF of the formulas needed for my final tonight. This is the reason that I have been a complete hermit. Operations Management is definitely one of the most challenging business classes I have ever had. It also doesn't help that I waited until 4 days ago to start learning this.

Oh Bother

I really want to blog today. I don't really have time. Today is Sunday, I have a ridiculously terrible final on Monday and my final final of the semester on Tuesday. I have started 3 blogs, all of which rapidly became a pity party that would only be "enjoyed" by Eeyore, who might actually be a little concerned that I'm taking things to far. However, in the spirit of the holiday season, I will spare you my whining and just let my dear friends know that I am trying so so hard to be positive and that I promise to be a better and more enjoyable person come Wednesday morning...or maybe Thursday, after I've had some sleep.

I can't wait to become reacquainted with everyone.

An observation

At the risk of sounding like "that girl", since I've last blogged, I visted Cambodia for my fourth time and faciliated a youth camp for over 200 Khmer youth. I biked on a beach in Singapore. I crossed visiting Africa off my bucket list and gave gifts to over 2000 children in Ethiopia. I toured the Van Gogh museum and drank hot chocolate at the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam. During Lollapalooza in Chicago, I saw several bands on my "bands to see before I die" list including the Kings of Leon and the Killers, all while becoming 2 semesters closer to finally finishing my MBA.

And yet, the event that finally broke my blogging silence was a CSI marathon during a house cleaning day. I wish this provided some great revelation about my life; alas, I'm afraid it does not. Perhaps I ONLY sweat the small stuff.

Or perhaps we shouldn't overthink this, I'm probably just that strange.

Lessons Learned from CSI

Yesterday, I woke up, looked around and decided my house needed some attention. One of my old teachers used to say that the current condition of your living space was a direct reflection of the current condition of your life. If this is true, my life was a complete disaster. I resolved to not leave my house until I instilled some much needed order.

While folding 4 loads of laundry, I began watching a CSI marathon on Spike TV. I like background noise when I’m at home so I ended up hearing at least 5 episodes. That’s right, 5 hours of murder mystery and mayhem. I told you my life was incredibly exciting. During this time I made several observations

1. Single girls who live alone should not watch CSI marathons.

I would venture to say at least half of the story lines involve some poor girl who owns a cat and has 10 take out menu’s on her fridge who is killed and not discovered for weeks because she lives by herself. They then spend the next hour explaining how she was an easy target because she obviously had no family or friends or anyone who cared about her since she lived alone.

2.If your house is dirty, they will never ever find your killer.
I don’t understand how it is possible that every person who gets killed lives in such an immaculately clean house that the detectives are able to find a single accidentally left hair, or a clothing fiber that eventually breaks the case. If I am killed, the detectives will never find my killer because they will have to sift through piles of dust, debris and hair to find the one or two odd ones that don’t match the rest. So, thank you yesterday’s CSI marathon, I know that I am an easy target and if I don’t get my house clean they will never ever find my killer.

3.If your sheets are clean, they will never ever find your killer.
I like to keep my blogs pg so I won’t go into details on what sorts of interesting clues can be discovered on victims sheets; however, it is worth noting that while there are never any stray hairs in the homes where murders are solved, there are always dirty sheets. In the 5 episodes I watched 3 were solved with help of dirty sheets.

4. There are things I should be afraid of that I didn’t even know existed.
Someone was killed with a meat bullet. That’s right, the bullet was made of frozen meat and not only wounded the man but filled him with maggots that are usually only found in cows. I don’t think this needs any further explanation. Be afraid.

Toad's Wild Ride

It is a running joke among my friends that I have the worst luck of any known human being. This “joke” extends to just about every area of my life, the appliances at my home, my “relationships”, utilities companies, etc. My recent trip to Cambodia is no exception to that rule. I left my house for Atlanta on Tuesday morning at 7am. My flight didn’t leave until 3pm but I’ve inherited this weird obsession with the idea that you can never be too early for a flight from my father because “you never know what could happen.” Initially my trip was perfect, the shuttle service dropped us off right next to a curb side check in with no waiting. We made it through security with no delay and thanks to my handy American Express Card was able to wait in the Delta Crown Room.


Our first flight was delayed an hour so we had to run through the Houston airport to catch our Plane to Singapore. Other than that, we landed in Russia rather uneventfully. The Russian airport was a little overwhelming. It was small but very crowded and no one was very pleasant or helpful. Luckily I met an American oil driller who worked all over the world and took this flight 100 times before. He helped point us in the right direction.


We boarded the plane to Russia and started on our way. It was supposed to be about a 10 hour flight. About 3 hours had passed, I had watched a couple of movies and had started to read when the captain announced that there was a bit of a mix up and we would be returning to Russia. He said we had too much fuel to land so he would be releasing some over the ocean. “Please don’t panic, this is completely normal.” I’m not quite a world traveler yet but I’ve flown enough to know this wasn’t normal. His ambivalent reasoning behind the reason we had to return 3 hours in the opposite direction of Singapore scared me a little. I know its morbid but everytime I get on a plane, I watch everyone put their luggage away and chat with the people next to me, all the time imagining that this is how every flight that crashes starts. I immediately thought of the people I had talked to before the flight, many of whom were returning home after long trips to foreign lands, anxious to see their families again. I hoped they would make it back. I hoped I would make it back. I was traveling with a 16 year old girl who I was responsible for and I couldn’t verbalize any of this. So I sat quietly and tried to watch bride wars (which I couldn’t finish not because of my impending doom but because it truly sucked.) As the plane descended and prepared for landing, it was almost silent. No one knew what would happen.


Thankfully we landed safely and the captain asked us to remain seated. 4 or 5 people in security jackets quickly boarded the plane and headed to the back. All of the stewards were running around like crazy. We have no idea what is going on. Suddenly a new man boards the plane and immediately starts complaining that someone is in his seat. An argument ensues and the man finally reclaims his seat and angrily sits down. The captain announces that during our stopover in Russia a passenger had missed the flight; However, his luggage had not. Apparently there are federal regulations that prohibit luggage on a plane without the passenger who checked it so our entire plane had to turn around and pick this guy up. He was sitting a row over from me so as he chuckled about what happened he told me he had fallen asleep at the airport. He said this with a smirk. Are you kidding me?! Probably 200 people missed their connections in Singapore because this idiot couldn’t stay awake during our 1.5 hour layover. I couldn’t believe it. Talk about bad luck.


So, we arrived in Singapore about an hour after our plane for Siem Reap had left. It was 9:30am. There were no more flights to Cambodia that day so the airline gave us vouchers for an hotel in the city, a taxi ride and 3 meals. I was honestly thrilled. I had never been to Singapore and was so excited to have a whole day to explore the city. Our hotel was beautiful and the restaurant served us a 5 course meal of delicious Asian food. After exploring the city, I was able to sleep for almost 10 hours before returning the next morning for our flight. It was wonderful. I usually arrive in Cambodia exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. Due to our forced layover I arrived in Cambodia rested and ready to go. I had already adjusted to the time change and was able to have a long and busy day reconnecting with all of my old friends. I finally arrived Thursday evening at 12pm.

I realized on my last flight that what had seemed like the worst luck ever had ended so positively. While the extra 3 hours on a plane were frustrating and miserable, as a result, I was able to spend a day in an amazing city free of charge. Who gets a free trip to Singapore? Ultimately I was lucky. This made me think about all of the other “unlucky” things in my life and why I have labeled them that way. I think about relationships that ended for no apparent reason that broke my heart and realize in hindsight that I’m probably better off that they didn’t work out and that I didn’t waste any more time. I think about the time that my friend lost my keys at a concert in Atlanta and while it wasn’t fun in the moment what a great story it is now. I think about every hard time I’ve had and every tough situation I’ve had to endure and that these are the things that have got me to where I am today. I’m content with where my life is and the person I am and I don’t know how accurate the unlucky description is. Interesting maybe…but unlucky? Not so much.

Jack Kerouac: Summer Reading

This summer I'll be spending a lot of time on planes so I decided to make a summer reading list that will help me pass the time. One book I've always wanted to read is "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. For those of you unfamiliar with his work, here is one of his quotes I find especially inspiring.

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."

I have always loved to read. One of the most satisfying moments to me is discovering a lyric or a passage that describes what you have always thought or felt but never quite been able to verbalize. There is something affirming about that moment, discovering you are not quite alone in your thoughts and perhaps not quite crazy. The following is one of those quotes:

"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"

Gun Friendly Tennessee

This blog is mainly for my out of state readers who may reside in less gun-friendly towns. I find it interesting that while gun owners everywhere are stocking up on ammunition preparing for either the acopolypse, a hefty tax on those who choose to bear arms,or some equally ominous fate somewhere in between, Tennessee seems to become more gun-friendly everyday.

On May 14th our State senate passed the "guns in bars" legislation that allows those with a concealed weapons permit to mix "guns and alcohol." Subsequently, on May 26 our senate also passed a "guns in parks" bill allowing guns to be carried into both state and federal parks (both are currently awaiting the governors final approval). However, my inspiration for this gun-friendly blog is the fact that this week, in Cleveland Tennessee (my current home town), a member of the city council opened fire on a man who was attempting to steal his neighbors push lawn mower. When the alleged thief tried to get away, the city councilman took it upon himself to chase the man down in his vehicle. The end result was a three car crash that ended with 2 people in the hospital. The best part of the whole story to me is that to this point, the councilman has not been charged with anything. I'm no gun law expert but I'm pretty sure stealing a lawn mower from a neighbors yard isn't reason enough to "empty a clip." I can't make this stuff up...

http://www.clevelandbanner.com/index.cfm?event=news.view&id=70906A45-19B9-E2E2-67F97698D7E88828

I'm not sure if this should make me feel safe or scared. On one hand, it would be nice to have a gun-weilding neighbor who watched over my house like a secret service agent daring any potential villian to step even one foot on my property. On the other hand, you haven't met my neighbors.

What i'm thinking about this month...

I keep a word document open on my computer where I briefly type things when they come to mind or copy quotes or excerpts from articles that I find particularly interesting. Here is a sample from this month’s random thoughts

1.Much of our life can be thought of as a struggle between emotion and rationality.

2.Where is the line between learning from your mistakes and becoming jaded and hopeless? Do our experiences really show us the way things always are or just the way things were one time? How can we balance rationality and idealism?

3.“I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man”

“Many will call me an adventurer - and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes.”

Che Guevara is surrounded by a lot of controversy for his ideals and methods of revolution but I admire the fact that his passion and convictions were so strong he would take great risks to make things “right”. Is there anything that I am this passionate about? While he may have been misguided he cared about his cause in a way that I cannot relate to. I can’t wait to see Benicio Del Toro’s depiction of his life. At the same time, I’m perplexed by liberals who champion Che’s revolution and place him on a hero’s pedestal. While I understand their affinity towards his “message” I’m not sure how they can overlook his methods. If your anti-war, Che Guevara probably isn’t a guy you should be wearing on your t-shirt. Maybe you could consider Gandhi…or Stephen Colbert…

4.Is everyone better understood if we understand their context? I believe that we must strive not to judge people or their behaviors because we have no idea where they are or where they have been. “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”

5.Horseracing, Nascar and golf are all starting to be covered regularly on ESPN and are seeing record breaking popularity. I wonder if this means that Americans are generally more bored than they used to be…I guess there could be other logical explanations

6.I would bake more if I wouldn’t eat what I made. I love to bake but I don’t want to look like I love to bake.

7.“I don’t preach a social gospel; I preach the Gospel, period. The Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is concerned for the whole person. When people are hungry, Jesus didn’t say, “Now is that political or social?” He said, “I feed you.” Because the good news to a hungry person is bread.” –Bishop Desmond Tutu

8.At the risk of sounding braggy, before the end of this year I’m going to Cambodia, Lollapalooza, and Ethiopia. It is possible that I am equally as excited about all three. I’m not sure I should share that…It feels wrong somehow that Lollapalooza made the list with my visits to two developing nations

Business as Mission

I’m anxiously awaiting the end of this semester for several reasons, one of which is the luxury of reading for leisure which is somewhat limited when there are MBA books to study. I have recently become fascinated with the idea of business as mission and have discovered numerous books on the topic. The past few months, I have been reading a book called the end of poverty which was kind of academic and a bit hard to plow through at times but left me amazed by how our life experience often leaves us more equipped to help the world than we ever dreamed possible. I’ve slowly become to realize that our traditional ideas of charity may sustain the poor today but do nothing to change their tomorrow. I also stand in awe of a god who somehow convinced a stubborn girl to switch her major to business knowing that eventually I would become passionately interested in learning the way its principles can be harnessed to pull developing countries out of their cycle of poverty. I had no idea what I was in for.
A book I’m incredibly excited about beginning came in the mail yesterday. Here is an excerpt:

After more than 20 years of working in Africa, India and Pakistan, I’ve learned that solutions to poverty must be driven by discipline, accountability and market strength, not easy sentimentality. I’ve learned that many of the answers to poverty lie in the space between the market and charity and that what is needed most of all is moral leadership willing to build solutions from the perspectives of poor people themselves rather than imposing grand theories and plans upon them.
The book is called the Blue Sweater and is the story of Jacqueline Novogratz who is the founder and CEO of the Acumen fund. The Acumen Fund, if you are not familiar, is an amazing and innovative International Non-profit that provides capital to entrepreneurs around the world who start businesses that ultimately help some of the poorest citizens of the world climb out of poverty. I can hardly wait to get started!

Potential

Susan Boyle Sings on Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 @ Yahoo! Video

Admittedly I'm more emotional when I'm tired and also when I'm stressed and this morning I am a bit of both. However, as I looked over the news when I first signed online this morning I noticed a story about a woman named Susan Boyle that made me tear up a little. This clip doesn't show the whole interchange between the judges and Susan but before she began to sing, Susan told the audience that she is 47 years old, that she lives at home with her cat and that she has never been kissed. You can see the look on Simon's face as he anticipates a female William Hung and then a complete change of countance as he realizes the hidden talent this woman holds. It is amazing to me that Susan has been living in some tiny British village in a tiny cottage and sings like a Broadway star to a feline audience of one. For years she has been cultivating this gift unnoticed and alone, until this moment when suddenly her gift was revealed to the World. To me it says something profound about the hidden potential inside of each of us. It reminds me once again that outward appearances aren't always indicitive of what's inside and that each of us has something profound to give to the world if we will only take the opportunity to share it.

Fish Buns

It’s an awful and rainy day. I woke up kind of grumpy. I’ve been feeling quite a bit of pressure lately between the demands of school and work and my finances and thinking about the long day ahead of me I did not want to get out of bed . As I finally stopped hitting my snooze, I checked my Blackberry and saw that I had a new email from Nelum, a pastor’s wife I know in Sri Lanka, and one of the most sincere and wonderful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Nelum and her husband Premadasa pastor one of the only Christian churches in Sri Lanka. It is quite dangerous to be a Christian in this country. They frequently receive threats on their lives and the members of their congregation are persecuted. There is talk of an anti-conversion bill which would make it illegal to become a Christian and their church is frequently visited by spies. The people in their country are quite poor and are in the midst of a violent civil war that threatens the safety of their families daily. This is part of the email I received this morning:

With the current economic breakdown you can imagine how it has affected the people, yet they encourage themselves to seek the Lord & experience His blessings. Some families where their are several kids cannot even come to church every week as bus fares are so expensive. Also they have to leave home early morning & when they get home it is late afternoon, so they have to find the money to buy at least a bun each for the kids. Sometimes kids who have not eaten faint in the church & this touches our hearts very much. Our people are sharing & even the ones who are going through much difficulty help each othe with bus fares or kids food.

I only asked you for a glass of milk for all the kids, but if you can help them by giving them a fish bun each too, it would be wonderful. I am giving you the breakdown of the cost of milk & the fish bun, separately, if you cannot give the bun it's o.k. but at least the milk would be wonderful, the little ones would be so blessed & their tummies full! If you can help us with this project I will keep an account that you can see & also get you some picutres of big smiles, I can just imagine their faces to see the milk, even most infants don't have milk as it is so expensive!

Suddenly my life had a completely different perspective. I couldn’t help but think how they must know God so much differently than I do. How they literally risk their lives for a faith I obviously know nothing about. I can’t comprehend what it would be like to live in that situation or how you could continue to hope when the world is literally crashing down around you. How does a mother watch her child faint from starvation and still continue to believe that someone is in control? Yesterday I was frustrated because I couldn’t find any closed toed grey heels and then I receive a heartfelt petition for milk and fish buns and I am reminded how selfish and shallow my life really is. I have a long way to go.